i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
