Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
