garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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