i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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