Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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