ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I fill condoms, not promises.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Randomize