Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
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