we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
