she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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