The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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