Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Randomize
