he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
