would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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