I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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