Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
