I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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