Pants 0. Shit 1.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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