MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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