Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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