My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
