This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
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let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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