Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
