ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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