she was so not down for the gang bang
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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