im about as happy as oj after his trial
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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