my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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