I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
