I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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