also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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