How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
