i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
