i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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