i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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