Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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