Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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