Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I understand Curling. That high.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
