And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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