Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Randomize
