I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Text me some of your sweat
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
