just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
