what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
