just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
