just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
And my parents said I crawled through the house
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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