I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
