there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
