ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
