i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
