i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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