the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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