can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize