Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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