hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
the day after is always just damage control
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Randomize
