Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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