I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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