just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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