He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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