Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
