he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
