I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
