I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
