I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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