I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
