look no pants
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
