he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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